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Sales Lessons From Online Dating

Guest Article From Leading Sales Trainer, Coach & Author Niraj Kapur

Single. Alone. No family nearby. A face made for radio. Late forties.

Welcome to my personal life.

I’m so proud of everything I’ve achieved outside the world of romance.

Giving back to the community, I’m a corporate sponsor for my local hospice, helping several charities for free with their sales and an ambassador for my local hospital. Giving makes the world better and is good for your soul.

As an expert sales trainer and coach, I’m busier than ever with 121 coaching, helping salespeople and sales teams improve sales and hit their targets.

My second book The Easy Guide to Sales for Business Owners recently became an Amazon bestseller.

I have no problem getting out of my comfort zone and learning new skills – from jumping out of a plane to raise money for cancer, to launching a sales and wellbeing podcast with Keith Rozelle

Yet, love eludes me at every turn. Saturday nights are unbearable, especially after months in lockdown with Covid-19. Sunday mornings, the quietness is unbearable since there’s nobody to spend time with. I really believe I’m missing out on something important in life.

So I tried online dating to take my mind off work… only to realise it was just like work.

Here’s what I learned:

1. Be Careful How You React

When you get rejected or ignored on dating websites, it’s so easy to take it personally and give up. In sales, constant rejection makes you procrastinate and often lose hope.

If you get rejected, try to understand why and get back into the game. If you don’t know why you got rejected, ask yourself how you improve. Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself, it achieves nothing.

2. Get Your Profile Right

So many dating profiles are similar; not the pictures, but the content. It’s the interesting ones that stand out. On LinkedIn, so many people say they’re “passionate about their work” or they’re a “people person”. They talk features and no benefits or value. Getting your profile message right makes a difference.

3. Have a Positive Attitude

In sales, you meet a lot of characters; the older cynic who has seen it all; the show-off who hits target once and thinks they know everything. The young people are who are terrified of making phone calls. The best people always have a positive attitude; they help others, create a better atmosphere and come back quicker from rejection.

4. Always Be Prospecting

I met a woman who claimed to be 42. She was 62 and her photo was 20 years old. Another woman was perfect… until I found out she was married and wanted to make her husband jealous. One woman asked me to marry her on the first date if I could help her escape life in China.

In sales, you get a LOT of rejection. Many clients make promises that they don’t deliver on, so you need to have a pipeline full of people to talk to.

5. Get a Coach

I believed there had to be a better way so I hired a dating coach. She helped me realise that after 21 years of being married, I was stuck in my ways. Being newly divorced and middle-aged made it even worse. A coach will always help you get better. It’s not a cost, it’s an investment.

I’ve had to learn new habits quickly. It’s scary at times, although I’m meeting more women and having more success. In the long run, I know with better habits, investing in a coach, and a positive attitude, I will eventually find happiness.

The same rules apply to sales.

Apply these lessons to sales and you'll be more successful. Sometimes it just helps to look at something in a different light to help understand it!

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About The Author

Niraj Kapur is an expert sales coach and trainer and author of the Amazon bestsellers, Everybody Works in Sales, and The Easy Guide to Sales for Business Owners. He’s trained 170 clients from SMEs to business students to corporates like Barclays, Sainsbury’s and the Headford Group. He can be reached on + 44 7733179854

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